It's been years and I still feel a trace of pain somewhere deep in my heart every year's fathers' day.
I know it's my problem for not letting go my past but somehow it's not as easy as others say to let it go.
they say time can cure but somehow some wounds just don't cure. The pain lessen but no cure for it.
wherever you are, happy fathers' day.
Sunday, June 19, 2016
Sunday, June 5, 2016
changes in 2016
Once in a while i come back to my blog. Writing for myself, to myself and whenever I feel like I got nobody to talk to and yet I need to express my feelings and got no where to go.
This post is regarding things that happen to me in year 2016. Perhaps a few years later I can't remember all these events and will come back here to read all over again to see how I was, how I am and how I want to be in future.
Damn! It's been too long since the last time I express myself in words and now I don't know where to start. Since my main purpose is talk about what happen to me since I've become Great Eastern Life Insurance Agent, I'll start with a month before contract and until up to today :)
Nov 2015
I've got really depressed. I hated myself, I hated decisions I made and I hate the outcomes of my behaviour. I was running away from responsibilities. I also visited psychiatrist mainly because I wanted a medical report so that i can defer my semester but my main decision was actually just gave up on architecture. I can't withstand that anymore as I don't see hope in that career as it does not fit me at all. A decision was made at ever since my 3rd degree year started. I don't want my career in architecture line. any field but not architecture. The next thing I think of was sales. I don't know what kind but I just got a feeling I'll do well in sales line.
I happened to get 'introduced' to insurance as a career when I met a girl in May 2015 during sem break part time job. She was HLA agent. I told my mom about her inviting me to their career and told my mom I didn't want to join although I'm curious about this career. The first sentence my mom said was "not HLA. you can join but please choose a better company." Somehow i forgot about it until my mom told me that she wanted to buy medical card, prefer to buy under her own account but lazy to take examination. I told her I'll take the exam for her but need to wait during sem break. My mom took me to join GE's Super Group's activities. Introduced me to her friend/ex-officer when my mom was an agent around 20 years ago, let me get to know about their lifestyle etc. I don't have heart in it back then. Perhaps it's because I've already join Amway and more familiar into that kind of working system. My plan was simply get a full time job and start doing Amway business part time.
Dec 2015
Lots of things happen in between. I don't know how, I end up became a full time agent without notice. I'm not good in rejecting or saying no. I just follow the flow and ended up here. Also I did not know what other jobs that I want. It is somehow sales line so it is kinda like the type I want to choose so I just give it a try. I never thought it will be this hard. The rejection by others when you are selling visible products and rejection on introducing them the importance of having insurance is so totally different. The ways to talk to people is also different. Suddenly I can feel why so many people say people buy people before buy product. I thought I can handle it well especially when it comes to friends that don't own any insurance. I was very WRONG. Those seem like ready buyer all turn me down. Where is my problem?My selling skills?my knowledge?my professionalism?or ME?the one I worried most is actually my behaviour/personalities that others dislike. If it's my personality, I need to put a hell lot of effort on it to improve. This point make me lose confidence and feel like hated by everyone. I start losing myself. All those seemingly hot prospects turned me down and I label it as my mistake and never think is it possible that I came at the wrong time.
Jan 2016
K.A.S.H. The formula of success. Knowledge, Attitude, Skills and Habit.
My A/ attitude is getting worst. I get knowledge and skills 3 days a week, Knowledge and skills kinda too overwhelm and I've got no prospects to use on. I can't find my own method and I don't want to approach relatives. I hate the feeling of relatives thinking I'm getting benefits from them. Didn't realize I was looking things in the wrong way. Habit... I've been doing some cold call (stranger market) blindly with survey forms. Walk in shop by shop, house by house (my own kampung) and bank attack (stand bank n do survey to get namelists). So January I've submitted 3 ready buyer cases. Those cases were suppose to be apply before I join insurance.
Feb 2016
Second day after walking from house to house, I've got a call. A man age 50+ called me. Told me he got my flyer and wanted to know more about medical card. I took down his details, make an appointment and went there few days later. First meeting with their family, I went there with my officer. There were 2 50+ uncle wanted to get medical card but their health condition does not allow them to buy insurance anymore. I was trying to find methods to help them while my officer approach another 2 girls sitting in the living room. Elder girl just bought her policy a month ago while my customer haven't buy yet. She's been listening the whole time because she don't own any insurance yet. After settle everything, I ended up proposing a plan to the girl and she said need time to consider. 2 days later, I met up with her family and follow up the case. Asked her whether she want RM200/month or 150/month premium. Instead she asked me about saving plans. I did a simple presentation on the only endowment plan I know and closed 2 cases at the same time, both 100+ premium. Luck's with me after getting rejected by 50 strangers. haha. The moment when someone trust you and it's from a complete stranger, the satisfaction is so different.
Before this happened, I've cried a lot. Without basic, everything commission based and no strong customer foundation and for someone sooooo unsocialize, I can't really see hope in my future and career. I don't even dare to propose to any relatives eventhough I know it won't do them any bad if they get extra protection. Well, even after getting some small little surprises, I still cried a lot. LOL
A few days, a friend of mine told me her another friend is also great eastern agent and he knows about me. Kinda surprise because I don't know who her friend is. Never heard that name before. She told me his friend know who I am because I did a case sharing on stage during night meeting. Since she gave me the 'joining' signal, I told her to come to our meeting. Fetch her from her house, bring her to meeting, brief her about our career and she told me she's prepare for exam, Next day when I asked her to give me her results and photocopy ic for exam purpose, she told me she has given all her documents to another agent, her colleague's husband!!! When she told me that, i feel like i just dropped from the sky. I went to her office the next day to talk with her and try to understand why she make this decision and her point of view but i messed up the whole thing. I can't even understand what I was talking about when I was expressing my feelings and the importance of her being part of my team. Used the word 'my agent' instead of 'business partner.' Since that incident, I haven't even meet her once. Still whatsapp one another but no more face to face conversation (for now).
I have been emo for a month because of this. The feeling of being rejected by friend is so much hurtful compare to the Nos I receive while talking about insurance with strangers. Now I really do feel like an idiot. It's her choice who she want to work with, it's not within my control. I should have do things that i can control.
Let's skip the March and April part and now we enter the " In A Relationship" status topic :D
May 2016
I went to Taman Negara trip from 9 to 11 May with my agency buddies. It's some kind of playing, learning and sharing session Super Group Agency buddies from different states in Malaysia. Had lot of fun exploring Pahang caves and hiking while making friends and sharing each other experiences. And there's where I met this Be Win girl. She look like a naughty kid. Didn't expect she was 2015 Melaka branch Top Rookie Agent and a few company trips qualifier. I only get to know her during 2nd day of our trip. I didn't realize how we get close. We just keep on tease each other and somehow feel like both of us are long lost friend. Looking at her make me think of myself back he I was still a happy go lucky girl. Probably when before I turn 13. Get affected by her positiveness and feel really energetic. I found myself in this trip. And that's when I fully accept my role as insurance agent. Right after coming back from taman negara, I announce to the world by changing my fb cover photo to my namecard. LOL. I found life all over again. She got a feeling that i'm those type that can be really crazy when I play and she thinks it's fun to put In a relationship status with me. Dear friends, it's just a joke. We are not in that kind of relationship you all think. HAHAHAHA!
June 2016
And yea, being in a relationship for less than a month I got dumped. *cry* She found a new lover, I think there is a high chance for them to really be together. hahaha. She post a few post about this guy in her fb now. Let's see what wil happen next. ;)
Jan 2016
K.A.S.H. The formula of success. Knowledge, Attitude, Skills and Habit.
My A/ attitude is getting worst. I get knowledge and skills 3 days a week, Knowledge and skills kinda too overwhelm and I've got no prospects to use on. I can't find my own method and I don't want to approach relatives. I hate the feeling of relatives thinking I'm getting benefits from them. Didn't realize I was looking things in the wrong way. Habit... I've been doing some cold call (stranger market) blindly with survey forms. Walk in shop by shop, house by house (my own kampung) and bank attack (stand bank n do survey to get namelists). So January I've submitted 3 ready buyer cases. Those cases were suppose to be apply before I join insurance.
Feb 2016
Second day after walking from house to house, I've got a call. A man age 50+ called me. Told me he got my flyer and wanted to know more about medical card. I took down his details, make an appointment and went there few days later. First meeting with their family, I went there with my officer. There were 2 50+ uncle wanted to get medical card but their health condition does not allow them to buy insurance anymore. I was trying to find methods to help them while my officer approach another 2 girls sitting in the living room. Elder girl just bought her policy a month ago while my customer haven't buy yet. She's been listening the whole time because she don't own any insurance yet. After settle everything, I ended up proposing a plan to the girl and she said need time to consider. 2 days later, I met up with her family and follow up the case. Asked her whether she want RM200/month or 150/month premium. Instead she asked me about saving plans. I did a simple presentation on the only endowment plan I know and closed 2 cases at the same time, both 100+ premium. Luck's with me after getting rejected by 50 strangers. haha. The moment when someone trust you and it's from a complete stranger, the satisfaction is so different.
Before this happened, I've cried a lot. Without basic, everything commission based and no strong customer foundation and for someone sooooo unsocialize, I can't really see hope in my future and career. I don't even dare to propose to any relatives eventhough I know it won't do them any bad if they get extra protection. Well, even after getting some small little surprises, I still cried a lot. LOL
A few days, a friend of mine told me her another friend is also great eastern agent and he knows about me. Kinda surprise because I don't know who her friend is. Never heard that name before. She told me his friend know who I am because I did a case sharing on stage during night meeting. Since she gave me the 'joining' signal, I told her to come to our meeting. Fetch her from her house, bring her to meeting, brief her about our career and she told me she's prepare for exam, Next day when I asked her to give me her results and photocopy ic for exam purpose, she told me she has given all her documents to another agent, her colleague's husband!!! When she told me that, i feel like i just dropped from the sky. I went to her office the next day to talk with her and try to understand why she make this decision and her point of view but i messed up the whole thing. I can't even understand what I was talking about when I was expressing my feelings and the importance of her being part of my team. Used the word 'my agent' instead of 'business partner.' Since that incident, I haven't even meet her once. Still whatsapp one another but no more face to face conversation (for now).
I have been emo for a month because of this. The feeling of being rejected by friend is so much hurtful compare to the Nos I receive while talking about insurance with strangers. Now I really do feel like an idiot. It's her choice who she want to work with, it's not within my control. I should have do things that i can control.
Let's skip the March and April part and now we enter the " In A Relationship" status topic :D
May 2016
I went to Taman Negara trip from 9 to 11 May with my agency buddies. It's some kind of playing, learning and sharing session Super Group Agency buddies from different states in Malaysia. Had lot of fun exploring Pahang caves and hiking while making friends and sharing each other experiences. And there's where I met this Be Win girl. She look like a naughty kid. Didn't expect she was 2015 Melaka branch Top Rookie Agent and a few company trips qualifier. I only get to know her during 2nd day of our trip. I didn't realize how we get close. We just keep on tease each other and somehow feel like both of us are long lost friend. Looking at her make me think of myself back he I was still a happy go lucky girl. Probably when before I turn 13. Get affected by her positiveness and feel really energetic. I found myself in this trip. And that's when I fully accept my role as insurance agent. Right after coming back from taman negara, I announce to the world by changing my fb cover photo to my namecard. LOL. I found life all over again. She got a feeling that i'm those type that can be really crazy when I play and she thinks it's fun to put In a relationship status with me. Dear friends, it's just a joke. We are not in that kind of relationship you all think. HAHAHAHA!
June 2016
And yea, being in a relationship for less than a month I got dumped. *cry* She found a new lover, I think there is a high chance for them to really be together. hahaha. She post a few post about this guy in her fb now. Let's see what wil happen next. ;)
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