remember what i told you about my stupid models?
everytime i make a model,they either cedera parah,extremely ugly outcome or don't turn out the way they should be due to my clumsiness...
they'll look bengkang bengkok or superb duperb dirty.
damn!
yesterday i cut the watermelon for my housemates.
when one of them saw the watermelon, her reaction is "wah,cut so nice.how come u can cut this nice and do your drawings neatly but when it come to handwork/models your things......"
me:"..............................well.....i guess i'm just sooooooooooooooooo not talented with handwork stuff..."
she:"but this is weird"
me:"actually i've eaten those not being cut properly watermelon before i serve you.LOL!"
she"...................no wonder"
before what she said yesterday i've been thinking about stuff like this for days.
what's the problem with me?
i put my heart in drawings and even watermelon but not my models?
LOL
is it because i'm so not talented or i don't have heart doing them?
the more i think about this the more i hate myself.
i've chosen the wrong road is it?
but at the moment i choose it every road seems scary.
this is the less scary road but how come it turn out just like others?
the more i think about this the 'clearer' i see...
the problem is me.
i have no heart in everything.
i never trust myself.
i don't believe myself.
i.................
how is it possible to succeed when you don't even have faith in yourself?
when i start to have a little,i will either feel like i'm bossy or before i fully believe i can do it,the wall i built just being knock down by various force.
can anyone thech me how to build confidence when your confidence have been knock flatly in the previous years???
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