ARGH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i really hate myseelf a lot....
i don't understand why am i soooooooooo confuse.
can't understand what am i headache of...
i.........
haiz....
to whom may concern...
i get a scholarship through The Star newspaper education fund...
i get diploma in architecture in a uni call city u.
this uni was a college since 1984...just upgrade and change name this year.
formally known as Unity International College.
it is under a construction company.
that is the reason i choose to go although i don't know much about this u.
i'm not sure do i make the right decision.
it suddenly seems like form6 is much more better yet i scared i can't handle because most of the people saying STPM=toughest among all exams...
i'm kinda scared....
although i've make my decision,
i.....
i scared i can't go on...
i am not familiar with the place there....
i don't even know which is what road and don't know how to go the places there.
alone there with nobody...
no family,no old friends and no relatives...
argh....
headache....
where's the nearest shop that i can buy bread as my breakfast?
have to find out myself by asking people around like a dumb dumb....
which place i can buy cheapest food?
hmm...all food there are much more expensive...
perhaps i'll eat bread whole year.haha=D
knowing that i will be away for a long time and losing my youth(as if i have)...
i asked my closer friends to come out...
meet for the last time perhaps...
because i don't think we still have chance to meet in future...
nobody will have the time to meet...
no more sincere old friends...
future...
all workmates...
all selfish because that's the way to survive....
all live in a ME ME ME!world....
include the future me.
however,the world always disappointed me....
most of the people i asked can't go out...
only 1 or 2 can...will it be fun?
will i ruin the fun?
i am a boring person...
will i make things worst?
haiz....
losing...
i am used to it...
i lost lots of things...
yet...i'm still sad and hurt everytime i lost something...
i always feel like crying when i am alone and got nothing to do...
i'll start thinking lots of rubbish....
yet...
i always fail to cry...
crying is so not me....
however i cried easily while watching movies and dramas....
i don't know why...haha =D
tomorrow....
will be going out but will it success?
can 'we' able to go out and have fun just by chit-chatting?
hmm....reaching that place is still a problem to me....
always scared inthe end no one come...
always scared i will be the only one there...
do i have experience of being dump alone in the street?
i'm not sure...i can't remember but i always feel like will be dump,will be alone everytime i go out....
haiz....typing rubbish again....
ignore me....
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