~Tag: 32 Things You Don't Know About Me Until You Read This:

tagged by Kole
~Tag: 32 Things You Don't Know About Me Until You Read This:
1. What colour is your toothbrush?
♥`` purple
2. Name one person that made you smile today.
♥`` no one
3. What were you doing at 8 AM?
♥`` sidai baju...
4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
♥`` watching tv
5. What was the last thing you had to drink?
♥`water
6. Who is the last person who sent a message to you on Facebook?
♥``alice
7. Ever go camping?
♥`` yup!
8. Do you go to church every Sunday?
♥`` no...5-6 years went on Saturday...
9. What did your last text message say?
♥`` don't know
10. Where is your dad?
♥``don't know and don't wish to know
11. Look to your left, what do you see?
♥`` a piano
12. What color is your watch?
♥`` Black
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
♥``online
14. How old are you?
♥`` 17+
15. Do you want to change your name?
♥`` for what?i love my name...
16. How many kids do you want to have?
♥`` don't know...perhaps zero because i'm not going to marry?
17. Would you kiss any of your Facebook friends?
♥``no
18. Who are the best huggers that you know?
♥``don't know
19. List three favorite colors/shades.
♥`` purple!
♥`` black
♥`` white
20. Have you ever fallen in love?
♥`` yes.....
21. How did you get your worst scar?
♥`` don't know...got lots of scars...don't know which 1 worst..haha=D
22. Do you like cats?
♥``HATE THEM.
23. Do you love anyone?
♥`` family and friends
24. What do you hope to get on your birthday?
♥``something DIY
25. Do you plan any trip for your next coming?
♥`` wish to go Johor to visit my grandparents
26. What do you usually do during the day?
♥`` eat,online,tv,scolding my sis...haha!i'm bad!
27. Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
♥`` maybe...not sure
28. Is anyone jealous of you?
♥`` no because i own nothing
29. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
♥`` don't have
30. Last song listened to?
♥`` can't remember...
31. Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?
♥`` my mother
32. What is your favorite number?
♥`` don't have
Tag 5 people to do the same thing:
simone,jean mae and whoever that wish to be tag...
haha:D

went siti's house to celebrate haji and her birthday...

today went to siti's house to celebrate her birthday...
haiz~spm didn't study...
went to people's house to play pulak!
USELESS VIVIEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
slap*

this is a gift i make for her as her birthday present...
made yesterday...
cute leh~!haha!perasan....

she like lee min ho...this cute bear is holding a banner with her photo and lee min ho's photo!!!
haha!
she was surprised!
and i am happy!
i like to make surprise but i receive none...
never mind...
giving is happier than receiving....
especially being apprieciate...
therefore...if i give you anything...
ACT as if you apprieciate it...ok?
you can throw it away...
just please don't let me know...
thanks!

gifts,apprieciate....
around 7 months ago...i took my friends phone...
i read the messages and also see the photos....
i saw her birthday present(that i make) in her phone!
i was VERY　ＨＡＰＰＹ！
HAHA!
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you know who you are right?
thank you very much!

cousins....make up case...

last week,a friend of mine post her cousins picture at her blog.
this week my turn pulak!(-_-"')
not because i'm copy cat!
because yesterday my sis told my eldest cousin(19 years old)i wore like a girl they saw in the restaurant they are now working at...
the girl...
like me...
wear over BIG t-shirt and shorts like MGS pj shorts...
walk here walk there....
(i only wear proper clothes when i go shopping^.^)
my eldest cousin was SHOCKED!
she said to my sis"HUH?!cannot like this one la!she's 17 already!you must start the 1st step...when you start make up...your sis will follow...i startmake up because my youngest sis started it.you should influence her."

AH~!NO!i won't change.i don't like make up stuff..i don't like skirts,dress,high heels ,handbags and other girly stuff!
not now....

i still remember the time when my mum came back from USA...
1st thing she said to me is "er~why you look different already?"
"not that preety jor"
in my heart i'm saying well...you mean ugly is it...haiz~i knew it...

my mum expression become like 'uh?what happened to my daughters?'when she saw my cousins....
she's like wah~!all become pretty already but mine???
what happen to them?

when my mum still in malaysia...she kept on telling me and my sis to make up...
to be like them...
want us to look pretty...
said make up=礼貌polite...
yucks!
when i saw my cousins...yea...i'll said they are pretty...
all very pro in make up stuff,all very 斯文(don't know english call what)...
all sure got lots of admirers...
because even my sis that don't make up and so harsh and so call 'man' due to her height also got 2 people like her...

the weird thing is that i think they are pretty but i didn't ever dream before to be like them....to be so not like me...
i only dream to be a boy..haha:D
i don't want to be a girl if got a choice....
BUT i'm a girl...
so what?this does not mean i need to be like them right?
i can be the boylish type:P

anyway,these are my pretty cousins....

。this is kah boo...pretty,cute and clever..also famous....the guys not from her school also know about her....a lot people 'chase' her...

。this is carine...look like doll right?a lot people 'chase' too...

。some say she looks like blackie teenage that ya tou...

。this is camon...although a little bit plump but always full of confidence and pro in make up...very good in communicating...even those not so famous malaysia singers such as danell lee and danny wan is her friend!

the one on the right...is kah yee....eldest cousin....

my sis and me are sooooooooooooooooo not the same world with them....
soon i'm the only one not from the same world because my sis is now working...
working=make up....
still...
even i'm the alien....
I STILL DON'T WANT TO CHANGE!!!
BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
crazzzzzzy adi....

abnormal...

body temperature 34 Degree Celcius....
not important...

abnormal because everyone very happy after sejarah paper...
me...terbalik...
haiz~~~~~~~~
shit la!
i thought i know how to do...
i thought i can answer....
i thought i can get better this time but it will only happen in my imagenary world....
haiz~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

got some of the questions...
i know the answers but people want A i wrote B...
even understanding the questions=a problem to me....
die le...
if this continue...
all other subjects no need to see...
i am going to repeat the same mistake....
NO!
i can't!
but i am not willing to study....
i feel like want to ruin my life....
here,SPM=important and i don't take it seriously?
no.
i want to be serious!
but thinks don't seem right...
haiz....

i'm sick...physically and mentally...

i'm sick...
having flu,cough,difficulity in breathing and so on...
will i be place in the physic lab/bilik kuarantin to take SPM?
whatever...
that's not important...
my youngest sister is driving me crazy!
it's her problem or my problem?!
ARGH!!!!!!
i don't know what to do...
SPM is coming and she's making me UNABLE to concerntrate!
i don't understand why everything happen on me...
every bad things....
why other people can study for SPM PEACEFULLY?
why they don't need to do chores?
why they have no BIG family problem?
why they don't have irritating sister?
why they don't have a sister that LOVE to C.R.Y.?!
and why they don't have a stupid sister?
she's the craziest person i ever met...
and I HATE THAT!!!!
i order her to eat(in a not so rude way)
she said:i don't want to eat!
me:faster la.be a good girl.faster eat.a lot people want to eat also no chance.
she:yer...you are so bad!want people to eat!
me:(-_-"')(i didn't ask her to eat shit.eat rice only ma...where got bad?!)
then,i got mad!
me:"(shouting)FASTER EAT LA!!!!YOU WANT TO STARVE TO DEATH AR!"
she:(cry loudly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
me:faster eat la!if not i'll beat you!!!!!!!!later grastic how?!I DON'T WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she cried louder.
i ignored her.

after i ate my dinner,i order her to bathe(also in a not so rude way to confirm it's her attitude problem or mine!).
guess what?
she started to shout at me!
she:i don't want to bathe!!!!!!!!!!!!
me:faster go and bathe la...i want to wash clothes...i am waiting for your stinky clothes.
she:i say i don't want to bathe!!!!!!!!!(start crying)
me:you want me to beat you is it?!i give you chance but you don't apprieciate at all!!!!
i took a 'rotan' to scare her.
useless...
she didn't go to the bathroom immediately.
instead she kept on crying and jumping,knocking the floor hardly.
she's very 'ye man' la!!!!!!!!
argh!
i took off her uniform....
didn't care how loud she cry...
i don't care.
i tell her I DON'T CARE YOU WANT TO BATHE OR NOT!
I ONLY WANT TO COMPLETE MY CHORES NOW!
i left her sitting on the floor naked...
crying non stop...
again...I DON'T CARE!

now i found out...
this is the best method to make her SHUT UP but is that what i want?
i want her to change.
i want her to eat without being order a thousand time to make her stomach full.
i want her to go to bathe without being chase by a crazy sister(me)
i want her to do her homework without me ordering her to do so continuously.
i want her to study,to get good results!
not being the 169 /298 students.
not getting Ds and Es for standard 1 standard.
i want her to feel ashame of herself although i know she won't.
she's proud of her stupidity...
i don't understand why she's pround of her stupidity...
haiz.....

i am like the gas and she's the fire...
i will explode anytime whenever she get near me...
i am highly flammable...
why am i always angry whenever i see her face...
do i REALLY LOVE(yucks!) HER?
or do i HATE her VERY MUCH?
or i think it is my RESPONSIBILITY to make her better?
do i think that i should be blame because i didn't teach her and cause her stupid?
or she's really stupid...
no matter how hard you try,she's still stupid...
i know i'm harsh to say such things but i don't know what to do...
can anyone teach me???
haiz~~~~~~~~~~`

yesterday while listening to those speech by the dear principal and the japanese girl...
in my mind only got one word...
fake...

the japanese girl said she'll miss our school,
she like the school,
she got lots of friends and so on but i believe non of it because i believe what i see.
everytime i saw the japanese girl,
she's alone.
reccess time,alone.
waiting for transport to go home,alone.

sometimes,i feel like she's more lonely then my form 2(my lonely-est moment)year.
yet,she said she got lots of friends.

does every transfer student that is not happy must lie to make others feel good?
why can't they just tell the truth?
telling the truth=against the rules???

based on my observation,she's the MOST lonely transfer student.
every year tranfer student are like flower surrounded by bees and butterflies...
this one,always alone...
always look sad...
she's kinda pity.

perhaps my observation can't prove she's lonely.
perhaps she got lots of friends but only everytime i saw her she's alone.
whatever...
_______________________________________
2nd post...
erm...
yesterday went to art centre(so call tuition but i never take it as tuition.don't even know this art class i attended for years=tuition until people asked me"you got take art tuition ar?")
the teachers there told me a GOOD news...
i got 2nd for an international drawing competition organised by Bangladesh!!!!!
i'm so happy!!!!!!!!
Malaysia only got 7 people get.
3 from my art centre and i am one of them!!!
i'm so lucky!!!
happy!!!

this help me build a little confidence...
telling me that there is still hope for me to apply scholarship because this is an INTERNATIONAL COMPETITION!!!
1st time in my life i got this!!!!
i hope this is not the last time...
haha=D

this is the drawing...
i spent more than 24 hours to complete it...


p.s.i know it's not very special/nice...
but it can represent i'm Malaysia participate because this is the Bangunan Sultan something in Malaysia...
forgot the name...
oops...
a bad malaysian..haha=P

hari anugerah/form 5 farewell.....

a sad day...
not because i'll miss my school.
is because i feel like a nobody more than ever!!!
ARGH!!!
nobody will understand how i feel..
nobody will know why i feel so........
nobody will ever care how i feel.......
___________________________________________
yesterday was raptai for hari anugerah.
i was sad because since primary until now,
i didn't hold any post before...
not even the tiny little post.......
haiz~~~~~~~~~
i don't know why i feel so...
perhaps it's because i...
i scared i don't know how to get scholarship...
i don't even know how to apply...
i don't qualify for scholarship because my cocuriculam is not good...
most of them don't need competition certificate...
they want to know what club we joined,
what position we held in those clubs/uniform unit/sports...
i've got nothing....
haiz~~~
1st time in my life i don't wish i go on the stage for winning drawing competition....
1st time....

hari anugerah...
those receiving 'award' need to sit at the back....
sitting at the back=ALONE as usual...
FORM 5 without 'award' will sit in front....
my friends who didn't get will sit there.
i don't have chance to sit there and chit chat with them and FEEL the graduate feel with them...
what about those receiving award?
duh~~~
they won't remember me...
they got their own excellent gang...
as usual....

after i came down from the stage...
i was HOPING that someone will come and talk to me...
well....
nobody did that untill someone very scared boring was alone...
yeoh wai mei come to the rescue!haha=D
we chit-chat and i gone crazy....
i showed them(we joined samantha chong a little bit later)my stupid and crazy face due to stress...
hehe~~~
i kept on looking to the gang around...
all of them syok sendiri,high sendiri...
i was like..-.-"' and like ah~why can't i be like them...
why can't i 'enter' into those ss mood?
whatever~~~

later when form 5s were asked to run up the stage to sing together...
i don't feel like going BUT
i wish to be a part of the whole thingy...
i went up with some of my friends and was hoping to meet more of my friends up there and sing/shout with them...
but...no chance...
all either too far away OR too many people around them...
haiz...
never mind...i told myself i'll try my very best to syok sendiri...
i shout/sing up there?
well...i'm not sure...haha=D
anyway,
after singing 3+ 1 songs...
i wished to hug all my friends but i didn't...
i won't take 1st step...
as usual...
i tried to hug some...
put hand around their shoulders and then used a 'funny' tone
"wei!we're going to left school le...
ah~very scared la...
we won't meet le..
let's hug<3 haha!:P"
then we went down again...
i saw some people cry...
don't know why they cry because i felt that they are much more lucky than me...
i'm pity!i didin't cry leh!

i took my stuff from the backsit(actually the floor but back part) and searched for my friends to see how much they enjoyed and how left out am i....
i actually want to go there without reason...
my mind was hoping for something from them...
yet...i don't know what....
when i saw them enjoying their time...
taking pictures with BIG group of humans....
i stepped backwards...i don't belong there....
i was,is and will not belong to that group....
we met by mistake....
we......
we................
well...i don't know...
just feel like i shouldn't meet them from the beginning.
" am just a nobody...
please go away!"
that's the thing i told myself....

i don't belong to any of those gang...
i belong to a group name ALONE and this group will only has 1 member...
nothing to be sad of because i did not lose a thing...
i don't own a thing...
thus,i won't lose anything...
we met by mistake and i shouldn't be in their memory.
now it's the end...
end...
left school without memory because i don't worth for it......
ya...i don't worth a thing....