what can i say?luck i guess...

yesterday i got my SPM result...
wanted to post this yesterday but i was at my own home...
the connecting there sucks!
ARGH~!
that's why i can't post.

back to the main point....
i got 9As and a C+~!
9As!much more better than i expect but i don't expect a C!!!!!!
the whole thing look sooooo ugly!
B will look much more better....
but never mind =D
i'm very satisfy although i cried(not many people notice)
shh....
don't tell others okay?


why did i cry?well...when i get my paper i saw nothing but a C+ for english literature.
feel like WHAT THE tut!
the subject i add on get C!if sejarah then i don't mind la!
and i hate the way teachers looked at me.
when Pn. Najwa saw me before i get my results...
she said congrats...
when Pn.Mahinder saw me...
she slapped my shoulder as if she's consuling me.
when i approched to take the results from her...
she used the kind of 眼神 that says 'oh~o...girl,why do you take this as extra subject?'
and the way she looked at me is like ...
well i don't know how to describe...
hope you guys know what i mean.

after crying for 2 minutes...i observed my cert...
then,only i found out i got 9As!
OMG~!
wah~!i'm sooooo lucky!
that's the 1st thing that pop up in my mind =)
then i observed carefully again and again...
conclusion...
my results:
BM A
BI A+
MATHS A+
SEJARAH A+
SCIENCE A+
PENDIDIKAN SENI A+
MORAL A
PERDAGANGAN A
EKONOMI A
LITERATURE IN ENGLISH C+

i got shocked!5 A+!
wow~!
big surprise!big fat luck hahahahahahaha!
THANK YOU EVERYONE!
THANK GOD...

i am really shock with the sejarah result.
most of the time i get Cs...
for SPM paper,i did 4 essays although only 3 is needed.
after written those essays,i still got 30++minutes extra!
i guess they really pull down the grade OR i did tembak correct OR i think the examiner did a mistake.
he/she added up all 4 essays instead of 3...
the last possibilities is the biggest.
hmm~

conclusion:i am really lucky!!!!!!!!

p.s.3 days before i get my result,i had dream.
i saw myself getting 9As!hehe:D

habits?

what habits?post blog on monday...
don't know why....
maybe because of the mood...
feeling that i've abandon my blog for soooooooooooo long and it's time to update it.
actually things always happen around me but i don't feel like posting them...
don't know why...
lazzzzzy i guess...
maybe not in that mood too....

kinda lots of things happened...
1st...ruin of my dream Uni....
it's actually not good.
it's outer appearance is to 'cheat' people and covered their bad stories...

2nd...still blur...
don't really know what i want.
suddenly found out art students also can take courses in Architecture...
should i proceed?
but architect...kinda like doctors...
need to study for more than 7 years~~~~~~!
OMG~!
don't dare to do so...
what if i failed?wasted 7 years!

3rd...
architecture...all recommend Taylor's...
the most expensive Uni here...
even other uni/colleges themselves recommend taylor's...

4th...
interior design...
scholarship for interior designs not much....
nearly zero...
haiz~
if got also diploma not foundation+degree...

5th feel like taking alternative choice...
Banking and Finance...
seems attractive...

6th...
still not really know how to apply things,what to apply and so on although recently 'busy' searching here and there especially online to find info for myself....
so that i won't make the wrong decision...

7th...
don't have the confidence in getting scholarship...
not even 1st round....
looking at the Sin Chew Educational Fund scholarship form and Star Educational Fund scholarship form...
i feel worst...
i've got no position before in every society or uniform units...
what can i write?
nothing....
haiz~

8th...
yell like hell on facebook last friday...
posted 2 status...
why?
because i heard that drunkard's voice...
calling for someone to open the door for him...
i was in my grandpa's house that time....
mum and sisters when back to our own house...
last monday he also went to my grandpa's house...
called 3 times...
i picked up the 1st phone call...
he said he's outside the house NOW!
haiz~
i don't understand why i'm still afraid of him although i know he can't harm us anymore....

proven childhood...
i prefer to use teenhood..(although this word don't exist)
influence a lot....
those memories will be with us till the graves...
haiz~~~~~~~~~~~

last week....hmm~

well...
lots of things i wanted to post but too lazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy.............
hmm~
should i post?
post to share with you all...
haha=D

[last time i post blog because i wanted to voice out my feelings,want to release stress....now i wanted to let my friends(although not many)to know what's happening around me and hope they'll do the same through blogging ^^]

okay...let's start from....
Sunday...
1st day of CNY...
didn't go out...
stay in the house for almost whole day...
3 pm something,when to aunt's husband's family there because we got nothing to eat...
pathetic huh?

Monday...
planned to wake up early and go out with my sister to watch Percy Jackson and The Lighting Thief...
my 'good sis' woke up late~~~
get surprise visit from relatives that stayed behind my grandpa's house...
(here=jln 10...their house=jln 8)
that aunt(kam mou) and her daughters help cooking...even my grandpa cooked because my aunt(E E)said she don't know how to cook abalone with mushroom...
get a little lecture from grandpa saying my sis and i woke up late and didn't help...

i woke up 9am something...just that i don't dare to go downstair because i got human phobia....
i hate lots of people....
due to my sis that's always late in almost everything...
i got a little angry...
told her cancel our go out plan and cancel the treat her eat promise...

while having our branch(breakfast+lunch/2 in 1),he friend sms her asking her out!
well...
i went along...since got 'shun fong che' and her friend don't mind...
went out with 2 girls younger than me by 2 years....
i feel soooooooooooo old..........
i didn't talk much...
just walk behind them...
we watched percy jackson...nice movie!
the Medusa is damn cool!
wear sunglasses!haha=D
watch it if you got time=)
before we go home,had our lunch at Why why cafe...
<3 mocha! haha =D
href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHalQIULo79VdXjYaMVCJwfXwo-zBh23EWNzT35z45jdRTgMm3VfImN2HBrDjCq-RAd9wu0lcb71lcdo_Yl1PtALTWVCcl6qwdetfiyI3yR25TK6lqDkgth_3TX1AyYq6DNvdM_AA04a4/s1600-h/mocha!.jpg">

Tuesday
some MGS form 5 2009 was having 'reunion'....
only science class girls know about it...
i've did a little investigation before saying that..
although i got invited...i didn't went there because not the organiser invite me...
out of desperation....
i went out with another gang...
the 'always late' gang...
they said 12pm woor...
i reached parade at around 12.15pm...
since i do not have a mobile phone yet...
i used the public phone...
get the number from someone else because i don't memorize numbers...
keep calling but nobody answered...
very obvious they'll be late...
waites more than half hour...i got mad...
planned to walk alone for 1 hour++ then called my aunt to fetch me home...
whlile walking alone...met chi lai may...
later...i met ho zi yan and her gang...
they looked shocked...due to the way i dress i guess...and also maybe because i walked alone...
i feel weird because that day i dress like a girl............
i wore those jeans shorts...and some girly clothes..blouse?don't know what's that...
whatever...also planned to wear boots to shocked them but when i think again...no...
1st...too girly...that's all i can do wearing girly clothes because the type of t-shirt with hood that i wear not on sale anymore...got also all not nice=(
2nd 2 of them is shorter than me...
1 of them...wore high heels...yet..she's still a little shorter than me..
they reached 1.30pm++!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!
i met them on my way window shopping alone at the 4th floor...
they were extremely late...
thus,we can't get a room to sing k...
they brought movie tickets...
we watched Big Soldier(something like that)...
DON'T WATCH~~!NOT NICE~~~~~~~~!!!!!
i don't understand why the audiences(except me) laughing like mad although not funny...
is it funny when jacky chen poke lee hom wang's wound?
i kinda regretted for not being muka tembok...
for not going to that reunion thingy...
i was there wondering did TMF,CKM,YWM and HAN went?
long time didn't see them...
the last time i met my science class friends was during maths paper i guess...
can't remember...
how was the gathering?
i never know because nobody post photos in fb...

tuesday night...get called from aunt again....4th time i guess...
told her my mum not back yet...
she said she'll reach around 8pm something but 12am still not here yet...
get a little worry but believes that nothing bad will happened...
my 16 years old sis sms uncle Cambridge...haha=D
asked him is my mother back...he gave my sis a few call...
each half hour once to asked bout my mum..
bla bla bla...lazzzzzzzy to talk bout their conversation but quite funny!haha=D
my sis answered 3 times...then she beh tahan...turned to silent mood...


Wednesday...
morning...found out that my mum reached ipoh around 1.30am...
she reached my house because uncle cambridge thought we were there although i heard my sis telling him we are in our grandpa's house a few times...
blur man....
my mum cleaned up the house immediately after she reached until 8-9 in the morning!
WOW~!
also get lecture by my mum because grandpa's house is kinda dirty......
saying my sis and i didn't clean up and so on...
well...cleaned up the room upon her order and tell her my cousins' room worst but she said"don't compare with messy people.you both make me feel like i'm a failure."
after cleaned up...she still thinks it's messy....
well...well...well...
whatever...haha!

night...
stayed at home....
thought night either go LCS's house or my boss's house but in the end i stayed at home...
LCS canceled her CNY party...boss there...don't feel like going....
we went back to our own house...got some presents!
clothes~!the kind of jackets i like!
all with hood but too bad...
malaysia=hot...
wear jacket=superb hot!
haiz~~~~~~
got boots too~!
without heels!
the boots design kinda cool...
will upload if i got the chance...

Thursday...
breakfast...went out with family...ate dim sum.
then,went out with Amanda and my sis...
at 1st i feel like rejecting her but she's kinda pity...
every friend she called..all either working or busy and something else...
i'm the only one free....so...i went out again.
at first...went Jusco...to sing k...
then failed to get room again...
we went to parade(3rd time in parade in the same week!) to see is there any room left..
none~~~
knew it...
then we went bowling....
my thumb nail 'terputus' while 'throwing' that bowling ball!


fat vivien~~~~~~~~
see~~~!fattest of them all~~~~~!shortest of them all~~!and weirdest!
all normal except me..i looked stupid!

there is more photos although i am not willing to take...
she loooooooooooooooooove taking pics....
haiz~~~~

my sis and i went home by town bus because my mum's phone turned to silent mode!!!!!!
she didn't know we called!
after we reached the nearest station to our house,we walked half hour under the hot sun to reach the cozy little house....
luckily brought an ice-cream...
eat while walking...much more cooler....^^

Friday....
did some boring stuff....

Saturday....
START WORKING~~!:'(
didn't ate my breakfast...boss forgotten my request!
last two class...
i teach alone~~!
got 1 teacher absent...sick!
luckily not many students...if not ...D.I.E.
haha~!

Sunday..
work work work...
then..........
ate roti canai as dinner...
the end......
boring right?:P

1st day of CNY....我哭了...

at 1st...i planned to type everything in chinese because i don't want you all to know what happen but in the end....
i failed to do so because i want you all to know...
to give me support...
to give me solution...
to.....
help me...

a day before...i was happy...
now...i'm down...
haiz~~~weirdo...

around 2pm++ my aunt(father's side) called.
she said my uncles will be there on the 3rd day of CNY...
she asked me are we going to Johor....
i said i don't know...
my mum will only be back on the 3rd day of CNY...


i don't know what should i say...
i feel bad about this...
my aunt has been calling us lots of times asking are we going to Johor...
everytime...
we let her down...
everytime...
we said don't know...
i hate this feeling...
i hate replying her this way....

she has been calling us a few times....
asking our situation and so on...
yet...we not even called her for once...
NOT EVEN ONCE~~~~!!!!!!!!
ARGH~~~~I'M SUCH A JERK~~~~~~~~!

i'm not good in chatting through phone...
i don't know what to say...
(stupid excuse...)

her life is not much better than ours...
she and her husband having difficulties these few years...
yet i don't even call them once...
didn't do anything that show i'm concern about them...
i don't worth to be a human!

last year,her husband fell down while repairing air-conditional...
broke his legs...quite serious...
but we didn't go there to visit him...
haiz~
during such long holidays....after my SPM...
we still didn't go there to visit them...
WHY?!
BECAUSE I AM SOOOOOOOO USELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
18!
don't even know how to take care myself.
can't even convince my mum that i can bring my sisters there to visit my aunt and my grandparents.
don't even know how to take a bus there.
don't even know where my aunt actually stays.
and worst of all..
i'm 路痴！
i don't recognize roads and places!
i'm STUPID! WORTHLESS! USELESS!
argh~!IDIOT T.VIVIEN!!
I HATE YOU~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!

i know a friend that always go to KL alone.
know how to take a bus there all by herself...
ALONE!SINCE 13!!!!!!!!!
yet~i can't do it although i've reached 18!
useless!!!!!!!!!!!

get too depress...cry a while quietly...
no one notice i guess...
went to sleep to run away from the real world...
just like the me in the past...
i thought i've change...
i thought i've found the meaning of my life.
i thought i can be a better person.
thought i'll dare to go for my dreams and be much more stronger than now but no....
i'm still a failure...

lucky that i was working last month...
if not...i'll have too much time to think about nonsense and get much more crazier and depress than now...
i need work to 'drunk' me...
to prevent me from thinking things that make me sad...
to prevent me from thinking i'm useless and worthless......

argh~please tell me where i can find the value of living as me...
i need to know where and how i can find confidence...
i need it desperately.....

p.s.i thought i can take and let go friendship easily because since i'm a little abnormal girl...
i knew nothing will last long include friendship...i'll be grateful if i can be a friend of someone more than 3 years but i am becoming more and more...greedy...i wish the ship will be floating longer.....

why do i suddenly say such things?
because....
i'm jealous....
nobody ever invited me to gathering and stuff like that....
jealous because my sis will be going out with her friends during CNY week...
jealous because no one ever invited me sincerely to hang out together...
jealous because everytime i wanted to go out...
i've to take the 1st step!
i need to say it out!
i need to be'muka tembok' saying i wish to go too or why don't you invite me?or holidays you all got activities or not?can i join?
WHY I MUST SAY OUT WHAT I WANT AND MAKE MYSELF EMBARRASS while others don't need to!!!
what can i say?F-A-T-E....
or maybe....报应...

i've got nothing now except a few pimples on my face that disturb me a lot...1st time get this lot of pimples on my face!argh~

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA~~~~~~~!

ignore me...
i'm crazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy~~~~!:P

today last day~!
tomorrow holiday~!
YAY~!

just now end work that time boss gave all the workers BIG FAT ANGPAU~!
wow~~~~~~~!
got RM50~ANGPAO!
yeah~!
haha~!
happy because getting more $$!

1 thing i still very weak in....
i've no confidence in teaching...
haiz~...
i wish i can do better and get more $$!
haha~!
me=mata duitan.....
hmm~MUST study hard...
MUST further study....
gonna try to get scholarship...
can't get also will try my best to do what i like...
i've decided....
no matter what happen...
i'm going for interior design~!
can't get scholarship...i'll borrow PTPTN or something else....
expensive also gotta try...
i don't want to regret in future...
only in 'terdesak' circumstances...i'll go for business since i still got a little interest in it...
worst circumstances only i'll go form 6...
hope i don't have to take this choice....

wish me luck~!
everyone!HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR~~~!
p.s.haha~!i'm soooo in holiday mood...only want to enjoy life as much as i can for this whole week...:)
get back to work soon and get $$ soon before kena fired...haha=D

preparation for CHINESE NEW YEAR=D

nice a not?nice a not?nice leh~i decorate them gah....
haha~!perasan~~~:P
let's comment about that 2 tigers biting the red paper...
those red papers written chinese words...
those wishes thingy...
i asked my aunt to write since her writing is nice...
teached her how to draw and colour the tiger(as shown in the photos above)
hers is boy boy...because easier...
i draw girl girl...

those 2 big lanterns hung last week...
small laterns...last year...
haha~didn't take them down...
lazzzzzzzzzzzzy~~~~~~~~~~

the 2 kites...
teacher just gave us back...
they were used during exhibition 2009...
now i used them here since there's no place to keep them...
haha=D

the middle one...
i've posted it in the previous post...
too small...
and i've use the wrong colours...
haiz~~~~
not attractive enough....

two days ago i helped to clean the fans....
it was extremely tiring~~~~~~~~~!
i have to climb a supurb long stairs and need to be at the top step~~!
to be honest....
my legs were shaking....a little bit only...


promised to clean up those windows as well but tooooooooo lazzzzzzzy after cleaning the fans...
the windows make me feel yucks~!
lots of spider web...
and dust and some UNKNOWN RED EGGS~~~~~!
YER~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I DON'T WANT TO TOUCH THEM!
I DON'T WANT TO CLEAN THOSE WINDOWS~~~~!
HELP~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!

p.s.saturday onwards=holiday~!yay~!
will start working next friday....

the tigers....

this is the tiger for group A(younger kids)...


this is for group B...
standard 4-6...or maybe some 13 years old kids....
both tigers are my sample...
all teachers need to make two...
got a teacher's...i mean helper's tigers got rejected...
when she's not there...the person in charge asked me to throw i away...
i feel...weird...
wasted or because feel bad for her?
don't know...
luckily that day she didn't walk to the dustbin...if not...
she'll sure heartbroken.

perhaps both of these tigers look simple BUT when you have to combine their hands,ears,cap/flower and sticking all those side flowers and those red colour thingy...
you have to waste lots of time....
i cut flowers until crazzzzzzzy already....

anyway,this week morning i don't need to work anymore because all these tigers done~!
unfortunately,their owner don't appreciate our hard work...
they still not yet come and claim their tigers....
ipoh garden all rich people...
i don't think they mind...
I.G. got around 15-20 tigers without owner...
P.P....not sure...i wasn't there...
I.J. got around 20-30 tigers....
hope they'll come and take them soon...
if not...they really wasted lots of our time....

ASSIGNMENTS!!!
argh~!
most of them busy with college/uni assignments...
i'm busy with???
art assignment?
job assignment?
what's the suitable name for it?
hmm~
here's another sample for the next lesson...


completed it last friday...
she gave another assignment similar to this...
now i don't know how to draw another one because while meeting....
i didn't pay much attention and i can't see those sample clearly... ='(
anyway,this is know as 四色画...4 colours painting...
gold,red,black and white.
students are freely to draw any animals from those 12 chinese zodiac...
the drawing require patterns....
any pattern but need to have their tone and rederm...[don't know how to spell ='( ]
the rederm pattern thingy....2nd generation of this assignment...
help~~~~~~!
any idea how should i do it?
thanks a lot IF you all are willing to contribute some ^.^