happy! ^.^

sometimes human can be happy easily...
although i am always sad and emo...
but at least i get a few minutes happiness when i saw this...
it feels so good to be somebody in this world....
it feels so good when there is somebody who appreciate me as a friend...=)

perhaps to most of you...
this is nothing BUT to someone that was once being forget,being ignore and being treat as something invisible....
a little care means a lot to them...

i am happy~~~ to be one of 'the choosen one' in this photo...
haha=D
sandras...thanks for putting me here!
although we are not the very close type geh friends...
but...
THANKS FOR REMEMBERING ME~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sorry because i can't go to your birthday party...
have to work at saturday night....=(

friends...
please don't ignore me...
please don't forget me...
if one day we lose contact...please put me somewhere in your heart...
remember that you are once important to someone...
perhaps you are still playing an important role in this someone's life...=)

ignorance...

when you are used to being ignore...
does it hurt when people keep on ignoring you???

i am use to be ignore.
it still hurt when people keep on ignoring me...
why can't they feel how i feel???

MERRY CHRISTMAS~!

MERRY CHRISTMAS! to those who came here...although i know not many....
received this from a friend...
quite cute!

聖誕節 快 到 ★ ★ ★　 ★ 　 　
★　　　　　
★　 ★　MERRY X' mas 　　　　 ★　　 　
& °∴°﹒☆°． ‘ 　hАppy Year 　★　　　
　 　★　 　　　　‘ ★
聖誕快樂
健康快樂 願 未來都是一帆風順

╭┴┴─────┴┴╮
│　　　　　　　　　│＼｜／
│　●　　　　　●　│─☆─
│○　╰┬┬┬╯　○│／｜＼
│　　　╰─╯　　　／
╰─┬○────┬○╯
╭│聖誕快樂！│╮
╰┴─────┴╯
cute right?haha:D

3rd post of the day...

ARGH~!
something wrong with me...
keep on posting blog...
haiz~
now i am posting about something impossible...

i am waiting for a call...
a call from a friend but i don't think it will happen although she said she will.
haiz~
i won't blame her.
perhaps she's busy.
plus nobody will ever want to give a call to a person like me.
NOBODY wants to hang out with a failure like me...
nobody.....
haiz~~~

p.s.planning to change my blog address...don't want my mum to come to my blog anymore...
should i change?

臭霓霓!CONGRATULATIONS~~!

Vinny sis!
although i know you won't read my blog la but congrats for getting 7As and 1 B...
luckily your BM get B because if your Bm get A...
I'M GOING TO KILL YOU~~~!
joking....=D
i'm from Malay school but bm get B leh...=(
yours better than mine...
i sure torture you.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!
crazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy~~~
whatever la...
hope your result will 'help' you get the 'reward' you want...
haha~!

fate...

i hate the word fate...
everything seems to be going against me...
i'm fated to have dull and boring life...
fated to be a failure.
i tried very hard to change it.
tried very hard to make my life more interesting...
but...
i always fail.
i want to be like a normal teenager.
this year is my last year being a teenager.
i want it to be something that i can keep happy memories...but i don't have the chance.
i'm kinda jealous.
my sister always get the chance to go out with her friends...
shopping,watch movies,sing k,bbq and so on...
what about me?
my friends...
their family OVER PROTECTIVE...
everytime i asked them out,their parents won't let....
i always don't have the chance to go out with the people i wish to go out with.
i can't feel the things they feel.....
going out with BFF...
haiz~~~
WHY I DON'T GET THE CHANCE?!!!!!!!!!
this is so not fair~!
NOT FAIR~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!
everytime organise things all also not free...
all parents don't give.
even the news bully me.
parents said got all those accident la,'rogol' la...dangerous woor~~~
excuse me!
17 already...
few more days will be 18 yet parents don't let.
but they let those 17 and below go out!
what does this mean???
yer~!!!!!
haiz~~~
fate...
that's all...
right?

never mind le...
not first time...

worry???

recently i am worry of lots of things...
i don't know why.
i feel worry all the time...
always in fearful mood...
i scared lots of things...
what i scare the most is...
my surrounding.............

everything seem changing and me?
still the same.....
people around me changing...
the environment changing...
i.....
haiz~

perhaps i should change too...
actually i should change long time ago.
last week lots of things happen...
i feel like i am soooooooo NOT like a girl...
it is not something new...
i know that...
every new year start i keep on telling myself "I want to change!"
but....
every year i fail...
i need a good reason to change...
i can't find 1..
i don't feel like changing without a reason...

what happened last week?
well...
as usual...
i am EXTREMELY DIRTY...
haha =D
while doing my oil painting...
i don't know why i get extremely dirty...
the oldest among all and yet...
the dirtiest...
this is something very common...
i always get dirty without knowing it myself...
when i looked at myself...
i was shocked and extremely embarrass...
my left sleeve full of oil painting...
purple and green colour...
the middle of my shirt full of colours...
even my hands...
both hands...from fingers to elbow also got colours!
when teacher saw me...
she said"wow~!your painting so clean but you are so dirty...other people all opposite...human clean painting dirty"
they(those involve in oil painting) looked at me.
all of them show the OMG!!!!!!!!! faces...
even my sis that is use to my dirtiness get shocked...
she said"wah~!你夸不夸张点啊？酱dirty!"
me:well...as usual ma...you know la...i am more dirty than a 3 years old kid...
i gave her a smile...
i pretended to look like i don't care when everybody is there...
i......
haiz....
我无药可救了。。。

besides that...
the way i wear...
well...always wear extremely big t-shirts and shorts walking here and there...
so.......messy...
always get scolded but used to it...
can't hear a word...
now i did feel something...
more and more people telling me this...
more and more people giving me a weird look when i go out in those...
messy clothes....
clothes look messy because too big but i like...
more comfortable...
mum said:"sleep only want comfortable"
haiz~
i started to observe people around me..
found out that i am the only girl that wear like this...
i'm weird.......

worst still...
the way i eat.......
horrible...
haha~!
more dirty than a 3 years old kids!!!
everytime i eat...
i never fail to make myself dirty...
my mouth always got sauce around it...
look stupid...
my sis always shake her head when she see my dirty face...
my mum always membebel why can't you eat properly...
i don't know and don't understand how to eat properly...
how to eat without getting myself dirty?
yesterday...ate curry...
whole mouth red...
all those soup sticking there like a clown's mouth i think...
i didn't look into a mirror...
don't have a mirror with me...

i also don't use all those make up stuff...
think that they are very leceh...
plus...i don't wear dress or skirts...
don't like...
i don't even wash my face with cleanser...
only clear water even though i know nowadays....even men and boys use cleanser...
am i too abnormal and should change as soon as possible???
ARGH~!
whatever...

p.s.i scare i'll lose all my friends...everyone seems changing physically and mentally...
i am the only one left...
still the same as usual...
haiz~~~

i know...but i don't want to change....

2 cousins came and will stay in my grandpa house for...
10 days?a month?1/2 year?
still don't know yet...
their parents and brother went to England...
travel 10 days and look for a job there.
their mum maybe will come back on the 10th day or maybe will not come back that soon...
depends to the situation there...

the 19 one we seldom see her because her working hours is long...
the 16 one we'll always see her inside the house.
well...
i know i am useless...
the 16 one inside this house make me feel like i am more useless than usual...
yet,
i refuse to change...

she is a good girl...
help my aunt to cook....
do the house chores and so on la...
me and my sis=lazzzzzzzzzzzzy pig...
we did nothing...
just online,tv,eat and sleep...
eventhough we see her doing things...
we did not really help...
my sis feel nothing...
i feel like...
well...kinda weird.
i know we are not the goodie type...
i feel guity YET i don't want to change...
i don't want to help...
i want to be lazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy...
seriously...
i don't know why...
lame~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
haiz~~~~~~~~

lame day...

today went to listen undang...
haiz~
lame...
that person in charge asked us to arrive at 7.30am but she's late!
2o minutes late i think.
after that she sent some of us to another place and asked some of us to wait again!!!
we waited until 8.45am.
a car reached and brought us to another place(gopeng) to test colour blind and listen lame stuff for 5 hours...
i slept...
eventhough i'm awake,i don't understand a thing...
haiz~~~
12.30pm break...
planned to eat but when i reached the canteen or so...
not much choice and beside a big drain...
smelly...............
don't feel like eating...
i starve myself...
crazy right?

now i'm scared..
scared cannot pass...

life...

they are enjoying...
me?
i am crying deep inside somewhere nobody can see...

BBQ...

yesterday BBQ...
nice?
don't know...
my sis got 3 friends absent...
frome there...she rugi RM 21...
then buy some extra stuff yesterday such as ice,'foh zhong' and so on...
she rugi RM 50...
feel like paying back her some BUT when i saw my wallet...
No...i am very poor now...
haha!selfish...

BEFORE BBQ
3pm reach my own house...bbq location...
the only thing i did was open can drinks and can sauce for spaggetti...
other things/food prepared by my sis and her friends...
oops..
no...actually most of her friends played not help...
4 girls that reached early prepared water balloon for 'fight'.
she get help from her'uncle wong',a friend of hers(the only 1 aged 17)to help her fry nugget and wedges...
her 4 other friends giggle when he reached...
reason 1:that guy got new hairstyle(i don't like that colour,weird/old)
reason 2:said that guy is my sis's husband,keep on teasing her

DURING BBQ
6.30pm nugget and wedges reached.
we still don't have ice yet...
that uncle wong drove to buy ice.
my sis friend,mok mok followed him.
when she came back she said "AH~!i return safely!"

7pm-7.15pm,
all my sis friends reached.
me?sitting there alone and serving my youngest sis wondering my friends don't know how to come OR don't want to come...(emoi-n-g)
at that time,i'm very sure when they reached i won't talk much.
around 7.30pm,shiao wenn and a boy(her friend/cousin/bf i don't know.didn't ask) reached.
she brought 4 1500ml soft drinks.
luckily she did so...
if not,sure all die of thrist...haha!

later suet kee,w.mei yan and her bf reached.
w.mei yan dye her hair.
chooi sun and her bf reached 10 minutes after they reached.
she also dye her hair.
that's all...
no other people.i can't invite my Malay friend because the food we prepared not halal...
haiz~~~
others from science class cannot come.
all with different reasons.
i knew it because that's my fate.
one of them,mother want to come along!OMG!!!
so...i think better she don't come because it'll be very weird...

my sis and her friends,around 15 people BBQ in front of the house,parking that part.
me and my gang BBQ opposite my house since there's an empty space there...
a mini garden but all plants died...
the grass are healthy ^.^
whole bbq kinda boring because i'm there.

i walked back to my house when i saw my sis and her gang playing water balloon.
i took 1 and stand in front of my sis.
i squeeze it and POOF!
she's wet!
i ran back to the opposite,nearer knocked down by a motor,continue to run...
my sis got me...
i'm wet and i screamed softly....
i slipped down...
some kind of steep at the so called mini garden area...
that's the only fun part i got...
erm...
making my sis wet gave me a better result i imagined.
i thought i'll only get wet...not enjoying a 'slide' and also excitement of nearly being knocked down...
haha!crazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy....

another fun part is the gambling part...
actually only play cards..
all 'kedekut'...
didn't play money...
playing cards getting boring...
so we played 'snap' thingy...
that was fun...
overall...not much fun part...

AFTER BBQ
well...cleaning up=yucks....
but my sis did most of the cleaning...
so...i didn't suffer much...
haha!
the boys/her friends=disgusting except her uncle wong and also ccy/their form sunshine boy...
got 3 of the boys went to toilet together and came out pantless!!!
my friend screamed,she saw.
she said they only wear panti!
YUCKS!
i complaint to my sis.
she scolded her friends...
they said it's salah faham!
they demonstrated in front of us...
actually they pulled up their pants until looked like they wear nothing and then pulled down their t-shirts until looked like they didn't wear anything....(-_-"')
these 3 boys went back late BUT didn't help cleaning up!!!!!!!!!
i said loudly in front of them"wei~!your friends so not gentlemen!they only dirty up the place and don't clean up!ask them to help la!"
well...
useless...they pretended as if they can't hear...
haiz~~~
no wonder my sis didn't fall in love before...
being around with boys like this....
haha!

today went back for 2nd round clean up...
our neighbour told us that today morning around 4am,
4 cars mirrors broke by 2 Malay teenagers!
all 4 cars from my house that row!
now i understand why my mum want adults to be with us...
luckily we didn't stay there that night.
phew~

after spm=?

after spm what i feel...
nothing...
i got no feeling...
perhaps more stress...
scare my result will be very ....
haiz~~~~~
whatever......
yesterday planned to go home and clean up...
for BBQ ma...
but now mum found out no adults will be there...
how?
should i change the location?
BBQ in my grandpa's house?
no....
recently...
very naughty...always online...
grandpa won't agree and don't know why i don't like people to come to my grandpa's house...
hmm~~~
map...
not send yet...
should i just cancel bbq?
nobody want to come...
oops...
not nobody...
only a few...
i scare they will bored...
AH~!
whatever.......
____________________________________________________________
1ST THING I DID AFTER SPM
well...my sis online to watch a korean drama...
called 是美男阿You're Beautiful...
quite nice...
throughout the drama...got korean songs but still i've no interest in korean songs...
who act?
i don't know their names...
haha:D
i don't care...i watch drama not human...
only know one of the 3 guys in the group name A.N.JELL in F.T.Island member...
he's cute....
main male character looks like vampire...
scary....
i can't understand korean...watch this drama with chinese substitle...
although i can't read all the chinese words but i know what the drama talking about...

this drama is about a girl joined a group name A.N.JELL as a guy.
she pretend to be her brother(the girl and the brother are twins) to join the group because her brother unable to join the group due to some incident...
she need to be the group member for a month.

i recommand you all to watch...
this drama still new.

preparation for bbq...

a map i draw on EA paper 1...
finish paper 1 in half hour...
paper 2 very hard...
i do all 6 questions although only need to do 4...
haha!crazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy!:)

this sunday going to organize a BBQ party by my sis and me!
actually i am not the organizer...
i'm only the participate..haha!
my sister and her 3 best friends planning and discussing in one of the girls' house now...
they will plan what to buy and so on because they wanted a BBQ party since May...
everytime my sis has party,her gang will be lots of people and me...
eating alone...force to be a part of them because that's my dinner!
so i decided to invite my friends to this bbq party!haha!:D
whoever interested let me know ok?
held on this sunday...
13 December 2009
in my house...
start 7pm...
need to pay RM7 because no adults sponser...
in fact...no adults will be involve in this bbq unless you bring your boyfriends...
although i don't like boys...
haiz~your wish la as long as you pay $$!
haha!

i wish to invite simone but she will only be back in Malaysia on 14th...
a day later...
haiz~~~
i still don't know who else i want to invite...
tell me if you are interested!ok?
thanks!:)

p.s.actually some people...i don't really like them but invited them by accident because i want her friend to come...
haiz~~~
i don't know why i don't like her...
maybe because i got some kind of weird feeling about her...
to me...
she's the kind of girl that will only asked for your help but need to think a long time to decide weather to help you or not...
and she's the kind that will not appreciate friends...
that's what i feel about her....
whatever...
i wish i'll have fun ^.^

art exam....

art.....
the only subject i have confidence in....
wish to get A+ for this subject BUT really scare i can't...
i scare i can't even get an A-....
this is the only subject i can't get lower than A-...
it will be VERY embarassing.....
teacher told me next year Hari Anugerah i will get best student in art...
IF my gred lower than other people what will happen?!
they will think teacher 'pilih kasih'!
ARGH~!
i scare i draw wrongly...
i scare objective wrong a lot...
i scare lots of things...
i don't know why...
i ...
haiz~~~~~
PAPER 1:
objective got 50 questions...
those answers i think correct got around 30 geh...
hope i'm right...
only answer based on my common sense...
didn't study for objective...

PAPER 2:
suppose to look like this.
complete this within 5 hours!!!!!
BUT exam time only 3 hours....
haiz~

today can't finish on time BUT
a little bit better than this 1...
the coconut trees got leaves...
also got mountain...
but the sky...
also like this one...no clouds
the orchids also look a little bit better...
i've chopped the coconut tree stump...
before enter the exam hall/classroom,
teacher read the questions to the other students...
he said "tunggul kelapa'=batang kelapa yang sudah patah...
so...i chopped it...haha!

paper 2 full marks is 50...
what do you think i'll get?
usually i get 48...
BUT those look better than this one...
haiz....
please comment and let me know i'll get around what marks...
thanks!

PAPER 3:
is folio...
during trial....
teacher wrote the folio mark on my objective paper...
get 97 marks...
so...this one...
i don't worry.:)

hope i can get A+...
what do you think?
only happen in my dream?
yea~right...
haiz~