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Sunday, October 25, 2009

22 October 2009

after english literature class...
i waited for my aunt to come to fetch me.
i told her to come at 2.45pm although i know the class usually ends before that.
i just don't want her to wait and...
i think i purposely want her to come later so that i got the chance to chit-chat with my friends
i thought i will talk to them while waiting for car.
yesterday e.l. class ends at 2.30pm.
suprisingly,yesterday everyone went home early!!!
straight away get into the car once they came out.
i've got no chance to talk to them

well,even if they are here for me...i can't guarantee i'll talk to them.
i am kind of like last time.
start walking away whenever i see humans...
only some of them i don't run away from.
i scared i'll hide from everyone soon.
scared i'll go to the library to hide during reccess...
really scared i'll be like that again.
i tried my very best to talk to them but i don't know why i won't approch my closer friends if they are with a gang of their close friends(those not so close with me).
i feel like i don't belong there and this cause my run away feeling more serious.
i'm getting more and more not close with all of my friends.
some because i've stopped to go to school by bus.
reach school late...don't have much time to chit-chat with friends.
some...bus mates...my cucu...
i guess they'll forget me soon

back to yesterday's case...
everyone left early.
i was there alone waiting for my aunt.
later,mei foong appear.
we said hi.
that's all.now,don't really have much conversation with her because we don't reccess together anymore.
even if i go and reccess together with them,i won't get the chance to talk.
i don't have the chance.i'm like an outsider.
i don't like that.i rather to be alone.
when people asked me why i don't reccess with them anymore,i lied.
i said i don't want to see the face of the person i hate whom reccess together with them.
that's just an excuse i tell others and an excuse that i tell myself.
i don't want to face the truth that i no longer got chit-chat topic with them.
i just left quietly...to be alone again because being alone is my fate.

mei foong and me got a little conversation.
i think the conversation only start when yjm came.
at 1st,i tried to pretend i can't see her.
she said 'hi' to mei foong.
then said'hey!' to me.
i said 'helo'.
i feel weird.she said 'hey!' in a 'polite' way.
not like the usual harsh tone.
well,not 1st time.everytime we met our voice change.
she become more 'si men' than usual(funny)
and me...become like no voice come out...
don't know why.maybe because once 'fan min'.
now feel weird.
the moral of the story is...
don't ever fan min with any of your friends because even the wound is recover,there will still be a scar there.
haiz.......

yjm:(to mei foong)what time you go home?
mei foong:how would i know?my mum come then i go home la...
yjm asked that more than 3 times...
then,mei foong talked about basketball.said she's interested in learning how to play basketball.
said her brother teach her,play with her brother.
yjm:you need to be very tall to play basketball.
me:(in my brain...i didn't say out'where got!last time my sis played basketball.that time she was short.and suet kee is not tall although taller than me...she represented perak for basketball competition.)
mei foong:no need very tall.my brother only a head taller than me...
me:(huh?like that also not very tall?means i'm very short la...)
mei foong:(to yjm)how tall are you?
yjm:165cm.
me:(huh?don't lie la...where got ar?)
mei foong:got that tall mou ar?
yjm:am i that short?
me:(yes!haha...)
mei foong:.........................(to me)you leh?how tall?
me:huh?well...i don't know...only know i'm shorter than my sis and she'll always tease me when she's free...i think my height is 160cm or below gua...you leh?
mei foong:...........................bye!my car is here.
me:bye
yjm:bye!want me to bang the door for you!
mei foong:no need la!
yjm:what time you go home?
me:i don't know.
mei foong:you ask this question again?!haiyo...
me:=]

i was left alone with yjm.
we got no conversation at all.
i tried to talk but what should i talk about?
in my empty head...:
go and tell her wei!very boring ar...let's chit-chat.i don't want got penyakit kemurungan...
argh...this sounds stupid....
another thing pop into my empty head.wei!yesterday i visited the school blog.
that grad night post got your photo.
the one took at the entrance with tan ping qing and tan jing wen.
argh!this one more lame than the previous one.
of course she already know.sure got people tell her la...
aiya...i just keep quiet better...
wait for her to talk 1st la...although i don't think it will happen...
my aunt...very late!
she came at 3++pm!
i've stand there stupidly waiting with someone in front of me but didn't talk...
lame!argh!!!!!!!
whatever....
she went home before me...
she said bye 1st....
the stupidest thing i did yesterday...
standing stupidly and talk nothing...anyway,she did the same.
just that i looked more stupid.that's all.
yesterday,1 thing for sure.she don't hate me and i don't hate her.
another thing...i don't know why she will only talk to me i front of kole and mei foong.
and.i did the same without reason..haha!

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